What Home Means to Me

Posted by Joanna Van Vleck on

I’ve been asking myself the question lately what “home” means to me. I’ve forever been a homebody. As a child, I never wanted to leave home. When I did, I’d call crying to come back. When I went to college, I stood on the corner in the center of campus sobbing as my mom drove away. There is always a place I never wanted to leave and yet I’ve found myself in new locations too many times to count. 

Lately I’ve been thinking about how you love the place you’ve been and the place you are now. The thin line that requires a small crack in your heart, opening it just enough to love both. There is a habituated place in my mind that can lean to the easier solution, make something wrong with the previous home. It goes something like “yea, it wasn’t that great”. But, that isn’t true. I am the person who has tears streaming down my face when it’s time to go. That broken open, hot lava feeling coming out of my chest. That is how I know the crack is open just enough to love both. 

I sit here today in the OE warehouse. The feeling of home surrounds my senses. The smell of the daily OE burn, today Candlefish 001. A bustling of tissue paper as boxes are getting packed up,  the feeling of a constant ASMR meditation going on in the background. Most come to the OE warehouse and say the same thing….it doesn’t feel like a warehouse. That is because it is the origin, the source, of the exhale you feel when you take your items out of your OE box. A place that feels good. 

As I evolve and grow, I am learning that where we are now is what we are called to love. The capacity to love even this, right now, is what I desire. To create the sense of “home” where I find myself. As with all things that are true in life, easier said than done in practice.  

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