I was always the person who wanted to do it all. I wanted it fast and immediate. There wasn’t much patience in me when I began this path. If I moved, I stayed up until the wee hours of the night unpacking everything the first night in my new place. I’d make countless trips to Target, TJ Maxx, and Home Goods in one weekend to ensure the space was “put together” before Monday rolled around. It looked good but lacked the feeling good.
Then I began the long, slow process of beginning to feel. First in myself, then others. This included my space. As I learned to feel, I began to notice feeling was like a relationship. I am not sure where it will go or what it will end up being. I can’t pre-determine it because, if I do, most likely I will end up gripping to it.
As I sit tonight in my bedroom, perched on my dark navy linen duvet, what I look out and feel in my room is a relationship. A slow, deliberateness with each item in my space. There are items in the room that were hand-me-downs from friends, plants I rescued when someone said they no longer wanted them, an antique, imperfect wood table I curated from Craigslist. Some items cost more money than I was anticipating, but not the ones you would think. The heavy, wooden mushrooms at the corner of my desk that I have carried from place to place and remind me of mother nature’s beauty. Or, the ancient woven basket from a far away place that somehow made its way into my room. All of it is a relationship, curated bit by bit, always with the notion that it will likely change someday.
What I know for sure is you can begin anywhere, with any space. Big or small, modern or old, you can begin a relationship with your space now. Look at the items in your space. Does it make you feel good? Do you open and relax in its presence? A wise person once told me, begin with less in your space. You will be able to feel more of the bones of it. Add slowly, be deliberate. I have learned it is less about an aesthetic and more about a feeling. Make your space yours. Unique to you. Not from a page in a catalogue. Not from what is defined as “perfect” on instagram. A space that makes your interior come alive. A space that allows your senses to open a layer deeper. A space that is you.