It Has to Feel Good to Be Good

Posted by Joanna Van Vleck on

I discovered on the path of being a woman, there are obstacles I wouldn’t have imagined. Places I have come across in myself in the process of revealing the woman that lives inside of me that I would have liked to avoid. Personalities and potholes inside of my mind that, if I am not careful, I could get stuck inside of for years. All of these are equally true as a woman running a business. 

About 10 years ago, I learned the most basic lesson: It has to feel good to be good. At that time, this was a wildly new idea to me. I was a goal oriented woman. The world had shown me massive success (and epic failure), and I believed that if I could just keep the goal moving, I would somehow be able to avoid those epic failures again. 

I am a driven woman. I can keep going no matter what. The thing is, after a while, I continue going, only I am holding my breath, grinding in my body and getting less and less effective. This shows up on the surface as not being able to laugh at the small challenges that come in the day, no longer being able to absorb a friends or employees bad mood that they bring to me and forgetting to see the brilliance in those around me. I get fixated on seeing the problems. These are the signifiers that tell me, I no longer feel good. 

If I don’t feel good, it doesn’t feel good (whatever it is that I am working on in any given moment). 

It sounds easy, even obvious — it has to feel good to be good, but it is hard for me to remain living in the spot of feeling good. It has taken years to learn how to really live this in my day to day life. I have learned that about 1-2 times per month I have to have a full day in bed, not doing anything. It is my release, my place I can let it all go for 24 hours. It was hard admitting to myself, let alone taking the time, to simply lay in bed all day and watch movies. I had judgements about that type of woman. As a “type A woman” I had to come to admit….I don’t feel good unless I give that to myself every couple weeks. 

I have my small morning rituals as a way to ensure I feel good as I start the day. The incense I burn each morning as I sit in my bed with the blinds lifted to half mass revealing the light of the morning as I map out my day. My linen sheets and soft down pillows that sit behind me as I drink my tea looking out to the day. All of it is intentional, aimed at creating the environments and nutrients I need to make this being, this woman, feel good. 

What I’ve determined is it is not a luxury to feel good. It is our requirement as women. It starts with me. If I feel good, then I can ensure that the people around me, my family, our employees, the people receiving boxes of curated items, everyone, feels good. I matter. Which means taking care of me in ways that are truly nourishing and putting my ultimate focus on feeling good is where I begin. 

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